tank-rawks

2007-12-22T21:58:00.000-08:00

haha..
ya and that would be right,i just realised that my dates are all in chinese
which is a depressing thing since half the time i dont realli fancy figuring out what i wrote and when.
MEMORY SPOILER.
gonna ask BJ how to undo tt part.
and besides abt the dead tagboard thingy.
i realised it might actually be a good thing after all since if nobody comes here-then nobody really gets to see what i write(which is actually the main point of a DIARY)
and i realised i have loads of things to say esp since the last blog entry.
AND no,im not being emo.
HAHA.
fine,junior camp was fun enough,except i only came in on the second day cos i had fever and it kinda sucked to find out how you are the only person who's foreign to everyone and everything else.um...and ya,it was pretty much my aunt's fault..not to be mean or anything.shan't elaborate.:)
ok and i realised some things during the camp, and i have been feeling emo ever since,trying to stop thinking about (something) and how it all should have been if only i had done something.
haha.tt wasnt supposed to make sense to u if you are reading this post.
wild enough I NEED TIME TO SHAKE OFF TT THOUGHT.:)

2007-11-14T02:42:00.000-08:00

I hope she isnt gonna do it.
Seriously,this is just like what happened to my friend
Except i dont think she had to muilti-task like im doing now
(observing tt lady in the block opposite mine,typing and getting my fringe away from my face while tt stupid fan just keeps blowing relentlessly:(....) At least i know what me and my friend have in common, i used to wonder so often-and no, im not a sucker for fate.
oh wait,it really is happening.
I CANT BE WITNESSING SOMEONE COMMITING SUICIDE !!!!!!!
stupid me,the signs are too telling,i mean,warning bells should have been ringing in my head when I saw this lady in red.
Now she's walking towards this windows which has NO GRILLS.
uh...but she;s taking this loooong drag from her cigarrette-do smokers like to smoke just before they die,or is this something to do with their addiction,like they don wanna forget how smoking feels like when they are in heaven or wateva?
wait,in hell-cos you cant possibly go to heaven if you commit suicide.
okok i doso get what my friend must be feeling when she witnessed the last moments of some random person in the block opposite hers,before he commited suicide.
Just to let you know,HE LOOKED AT HER IN THE EYE BEFORE HE JUMPED OFF THE BUILDING.
is this freaky or what?...
oh...wait,she's drinking something and
GOING AWAY FROM THE WINDOW?!?!
uh...GOOD.:)
uh.......i thought wrong after all..seems like i worry too much,-and no, im not paranoid.

2007-11-11T01:58:00.000-08:00

8am.

That was the latest i woke up during this hols. Yeah right , AND on a Sunday morning.

You cant expect any earlier than this.
okok, i wont go around moaning till this post gets too dreary to read.
and then i went to church with my head halfstuck in dreamland
except tt we were earlier than expected,
and me and sis ended up watching the traffic while my parents went up to service.
Ironically though,i felt quite relaxed then and there watching the traffic,and being able to internally sleep with my eyes open...haha tt says a lot doesnt it.:)
Till there was this weirdo who seemed like tt typical stalker(i wasnt stereotyping) who preys on um,...innocent girls,...and yeah, there he was trying to sit near us and eyeing us...
and suddenly i had enough of weird encounters.
I decided to refill tt cup of punch in my hand,instead of crushing it and scaring tt weirdo like i felt like doing
Mild response haha,
but i wouldnt wanna get punch all over myself,especially if it was PINK:)

Suffocated. I seem to have fallen irrevocably into...

2007-11-02T06:58:00.001-07:00

Suffocated.I seem to have fallen irrevocably into...
1) this cycle of negative thoughts tt keeps surfacing through my mind
How it seems like everything you slog so hard for signifies nothing,really.
Just like tt ice cream you like so much which you find a few moments later,a decreasing puddle of water.
2) this weird habit of talking my thoughts out loud,and finding how embarrassing the consequences are
3)this someone...who apparantly has been 'controlling' my life.Now it seems im turning into a clone i myself dont seem to recognise.I mean.. the same books read? tt favourite singer?..
sadly i dont exist in tt someone's life.

which mean to say it could end up being fervently in vain.

THAT IS A SCARY,FREAKY FACT IF YOU'D JUST THINK OF IT.

Passive like a sponge

2007-11-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

Passive like a sponge!
'As quoted from Mrs Chaiw.Cute analogy.:)
Its surprising you know,how you actually discover tt humour and personality in your teacher that you never really take notice of it before.
And that their minds may be teeming with occasional quaints and fancies, just like Dill from TKAMB,except not that extreme.
Really,just like you and me.
which just goes to show how things actually seem much better when you don't have an expectation...or when you brace for yourself for the worse.
Except tt doesnt really apply for a situation when you are stuck in THE mind-freezingly cold room,which was what happened during chemistry.
And the words just flew past me.Literally.
I was frantically trying to make sense of them,which you find is really a hard thing to do since at tt point in time,the only thoughts in your mind is how to get out of tt place.

Except the pple outside woudnt really fancy seeing someone with frostbite.

THE Evils of PROCRASTINATING

2007-10-31T06:53:00.000-07:00

aha.

so clearly shown in the first hand example...

which will be.uh........

myself...

haha,see what the evils of procrastinating are?

tsktsk..

apparently it drives you off your motivation mode

which totally defeats what they say about change being the only constant.

Even I sound like an incoherent fool

and it's only about THIS SHORT BREAK I WAS TAKING AWAY FROM THE COM TO STUDY.

see what procrastinating does,it makes one ramble about insignificant stuff watsoever..

haha...okok i shall chose to adhere to the principle of

BEING CALM AT ALL TIMES AND SEE WHERE IT LEADS YOU.

hahaha........

NOT.

cos being calm, realli doesnt lead you anywhere

only make you appear emotionless and humanless.

i mean,

why say: im relieving myself off that bit of time and ordeal of the mind to relax my senses and release that tormented soul within before i go demented from all that incessant gain of knowledge ...

when you can just say: look there,im tired,im stressed,i need a

break NOW.

get the point?

2007-08-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

The four of us!

Nicole,Liwenn,me,Xu Qi

(after performance)

yehyehyeh!!!!!!!

national day celebration was a blast!!!!

even though our performance kinda sucked wat with us being outta breath from straining to loudly due since we always sounded soft in the hall...

everything kinda went ok in the end and the whole sch was practically high during the community singing...and the off-the-lights effect was realli cool too...

Even the guests and parents were a bit shocked by us being so high...

just look at their faces:)

2007-08-10T22:59:00.001-07:00

argh!!!!!!!!!!

I still miss church!!!!!!
though i have decided to stop feeling so overly depressed..
cos it's just another 3 more stupid days!!!!!!!
and im real scared cos things happen when u least expect it..
i mean-notice how many ppl are in shock EVERYDAY?
go figure-it must be that they are caught unaware..
Notice im wearing pink in both pics?..
haha....that is so not me..
PINK is NOT my fav color!!:)

2007-08-10T22:34:00.000-07:00

yeh!!!!!!!!
i have time for u again blog!!!!
so dun fret!;)
this wk's a little sad and all
wat with all those weird happenings and nice things passing so quickly-they always do...
and it's like when things are starting to get better...
u always feel depressed for NO RHYME AND REASON :(
and mood swings totally cant be controlled..
wat a sad life..
and i cant go church !!
bcos of some impt event...
like how at every point of ur life ,there's a limelight ,then after it ends..
it realli becomes so insignificant in comparison to ur daily life..
anw...
haha at least i got some R&R..
cos dad's friend had this bbq which was un-had in a loooong time
haha and the fun's in seeing how everyone turned out...esp how the all of us kids turned out..
and then i felt so weird ...like how we could all play and talk then and now there's only...SILENCE...

2007-07-19T02:36:00.001-07:00

'Everything is a habit until you stop and think about it'

haha quite true la.
seeing as how you realli never stop to think about life
and all its small minute happenings then
you realise they are there
and nothing is really the same
because you become to affected by the way you do that thing thereafter
but wateva...
im high-ing away
cause its like less than 24 hours to the
FIRST TIME IM WEARING SARI!;)
which is realli a cause to sing to:D

uhh.......sing any song;)

2007-07-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

i realli miss the hols..
and it's been only...1 week?!
and im realli scared and stressed up!!;(
but there's nothing to be done rite?!?
except to keep having random weird nightmares on the worst scenario.

2007-06-15T21:08:00.000-07:00

what the.......i just saw smthg...;)
but nvm....shant care..
and i still remember that stupid encounter on the botanical gardens day..
the austrians were fun!!!
haha and my partner was lame la...
she finally admitted she was snow white;)

2007-06-08T19:33:00.000-07:00

hahahaha
im here to post and it was realli a long time since i did..not that i was busy or anything-how could i be???-okok.....um actually i was busy and then i got so tired and was feeling like sian...so didnt even post in sucha long time but at least im posting now and that's wat matters..
kk....im here to post abt.........
ok,i dunno.......
waitwait...ummn...ohya,i went to vivo twice this week and im starting to think there should be more than it have ...dunno just felt that it shrunk overnight or smthg and i realli can find my way around quite easily not like some pple who keep complaining that vivo is so big that everyone is likely to get lost in it like it's some giant maze or smthg......okok.... it is big ....but........i dunno...
anw the first time was MONDAY..and i went with my sis coleni,simin and not forgetting that evil...haha shall just call her snowwhite...the one in shrek.....(i realli dun understand why evil should hate her..i think snow white in shrek 3 is cute!!haha okok at least she's funny:))
and first me and sis were suppose to meet Liwenn in the Newton mrt then go redhill togetherand then that Liwenn was so late la...haha until like 3 trains went off then we callerd hr to find out where she was -SHE WAS STILL AT HOME!!!-aiyoh then another 3 trains went off...
then she came in black and white...like she just came out of a newpaper or smthg..anw then we cabbed to ikea...which was a decision we realli regretted..and we had to lugg around big auntie plastic bags of ikea stuff-like each one has two BIG BAGS of ikea stuffthat filled those realli big plastic bags and we all looked like we just came back from 3 weeks of grocery shopping or smthg...then liwenn and coleni went to have FINE DINING.and we ate at burger kings instead...
HAHA .......then we went around the whole of vivo lugging those plastic bags:)...and 'everyone was looking at us',and that'it's so embarrassing!"like how liwenn says
and we got so tired haha and liwenn cabbed home with more stuff than us since we pratically threw most stuff in..and the whole cab boot was filled and her seat at the back was filled too:)
and on thurs...WE WENT TO WATCH SHREK 3!!
and i though gingerbread man was realli cute ok...
even though i laughed the loudest at the snow white part:)

2007-05-20T02:53:00.000-07:00

okokokokok....
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.
at least i hope so.
and i didnt even feel like blogging for so long since i just didnt feel like..
and im still asking-HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!
but i dun care..cos he's with me.
and i made the decision.;)

i will live to love you
i will live to bring you praise
i will live a child in awe of you:)

2007-05-09T03:15:00.000-07:00

argh!!!!!!since when did they change the format?..
haha ok anw...........
I GOT SO MANY THINGS TO BLOG ABOUT!!!
yehyehyehyeh.....
anw tt day was 2.4 and i realli had no mental preparation.then my t cehr pulled the trigger and we started running..........AND I STILL HAD NO MENTAL PREPARATION......
and i was running and running and wondering when it was all going to end since my chest started hurting like crazy and i was so scared tt i was goin to hyperventilate or smthg and my legs realli were about to give way..then i walked with wanxin for 1.5 rounds approx.and i was so sure i was goin to fail.....
haha but i passed......and it was so cool ,we saw this rainbow after our run even though it had not been raining and there was only this slight drizzle before our run and during the secound round..........
and it was realli like He made it there for me:)
ohand i had flag day on sat and it ws super fun since it realli was like slacking and i did with Yuyang;) ...ok la, not realli slacking since we DID do our job and went ard asking...but it was realli free and easy and it was free timing...so there was no time to bind us or smthg and i was as they called it-
"a free man"...haha...okok,i know they use this term only for those who just got out of jail or smthg...but wateva...i realli felt like a free man..oops, sorry-lady...a free lady:) LOL:)
and luckily Annette's dad sent me and Annette there if not i would have been crying like mad since i ould not find ALL of my classmates and was wondering about like this lost sooul..
then i found them and from a BIG grp of 5 we split to 2 and 3..at the st andrew cathedral which realli was a nice place though i haven been to it b4...and then we practically the whole of tt area..
from...
bugis-st andrew cathdral-citymall-raffles city-citymall-esplanade-marina square........and back to bugis:)
and some other place and i was so very bushed out after the whole thing though lunch ws super yummy!!
i ate sushi and then rice cake which looked and tasted like strawberries and they realli remind me of those Jap moshi!:)
haha and it was damn funny how Yu yang and i hid the tins when we were going in the shopping mall to buy a drink..and then felt so guilty:)but it was ONLY A DRINK..and then we had our lunch..;)

2007-05-02T03:41:00.000-07:00

hahaha

feeling so happy today and i dunno why...

random i guess ..

i was feeling so emo yesterday.....

and i found out one uber huge secret!!!!!!!

HAHA!

ok la...not exactly secret but i cant realli say though its not a big deal if i say but some one will realli come after me....haha

but i think it's all rubbish and i realli think it's childish!

so HAHA to tt person who decided to do things tt way.....

and i better stop talking abt this thing cos u all might get fedup or smthg cos u all dunknow what im even talking abt!

keep guessing!!!!!!

and tt day wa i play and sharmaine took this realli nice pic with me,sis cheryl and annette..but where is annette?.haha her face was too low...ho hum.....if not it realli was so cute!
but (sharm,me ,sis,cheryl...where's annette?)
anw.....today iwas utterly tired and all i so regretted not sleeping earlier...which is realli wat always happens-i go to sleep late thinking i can realli take it and i wun be tired the next day,and then the next day comes and im soooo tired ,then i end up regretting and promising my self never to sleep late again.....
haha
same old story la....
though i realli cant help thinking abt those pple who sleep loads later then me-and not by choice..so sad rite!!!!
see!tt's why i LOVE th hols best!:)
im yapping away like nobody's business,but i was so depressed over chem ok!!!!!!!
i always am!
haha.then i will want to do better and then i work hard and do SLIGHTLY better than the last time......
then i learn a new topic and then i get depressed again!
same old story la.......;)
and yehyehyeh!!!!!!!!!
LAMER AND V may be coming to my church!!
:):)

2007-04-30T02:13:00.000-07:00

yeh!!!!!!!!!!
tommorow is a holiday -which means more sleep for me!!!!!!;)
haha...
u noe last thurs i went for this dental appointment and now my gums still hurt quite a bit..
ok to tell the truth-the dentist was really very pro and all and very dedicated to her job and all even though she may seem slightly rough in handling our gums-it's all so tt our "gums can be healthy" and we shouldnt go around "smearing her name" after wat she done for us:)
haha......
and i was so scared of the consequences of un healthy gums and all tt i spent abt 10 mins each time brushing my teeth.ok-i sound like some teeth freak or smthg..haha but it wont last:)
yeh!so healthy gums for me!!;)
haha im so happy right now for apparently no reason..
ok i was emo on sat morn,
then confused on sunday..
dunno wat's wrong .but maybe lots of unexpected things have happened tt im not even sure whether they are real .....
but i guess they have to be right ?since i remember every detail so clearly:)
HAHA.....or maybe they could well be realistic dreams:)

2007-04-25T02:13:00.000-07:00

yeh!yeh!yeh!...
I DID IT:)
haha yesterday's SYF was realli scary and it all happened so fast..
but OUR CHOIR GOT GOLD:)...which realli was unexpected since i thought we were gonna get silver.the choir b4 us was realli tt good but i wasn realli scared which was a gd thing and i didnt mess my while piano part up or make any mistakes;)
haha actually in the waiting room i wasn scared at all and surprisingly calm..then we reached the corridor and they told us tt we were next -and it dawned on me tt we were gonna perform tt soon..
but anw,thx to the lord!:)i could realli feel his presence when i was playing the song and it realli gave me a sense of serenity and calm,though my fingers started to shake in tt way tt it does when im scared at the end of the song
haha but i heard tt we were this close to obtaining tt gold with honours since 3 out of the 7 judges awarded us gold with honours and the other 3 awarded us with a gold ,tt last judge which had the "deciding vote" chose in the end to give us a gold;)i was still screaming with joy anw w/o giving a heck abt my voice just for tt breif 3 sec.
but anw i gorged my self silly with choc :)think i put on abt a kg or so..which is realli bad since i think i got 2.4 this friday...hmmn,but who cares abt sports at a time like this?:)

2007-04-23T03:24:00.000-07:00

sis and me!!

at rehearsal 8:30 am!!!

haha..anw the corsage was HAND MADE

by my tcher y'noe:)

haha some pics at graduation;)

Mom and me:)

Dad and me;)

sis,Mrs Tan,and me

managed to take pics with Mrs Tan;)

she was so busy tt day!:)

2007-04-22T02:03:00.000-07:00

haha im back and the fun's all over..
boo.in a way.........since i thought the whole thing would last just a BIT longer...ha,but as they say-gd things nv seem to last.
and i promised to blog sbt this even though mi still feeling a bit sad tt it's over...
it realli was cool....since we were one of the youngest there:)and we got to wear tt mortarboard thingy though i didn get to throw the mortarboard up in the sky like they do in shows.
which realli goes to show tt u cant realli trust wat u see in shows sometimes since they prob dun do graduations in the open in event of bad weather so there's no vast sky for u to throw ur mortarboard into.
but anw,it realli was a bit scary to go up on the stage and all and i kept worrying if my mortarboard would drop off while i was on stage(which would be reallii embarrassing since i doubt smthg like tt ever happened and pple would prob remember u as the gal who dropped her mortarboard )ha,so luckily it didn..
yeh and i bought a small graduation bear which i carried around with me when i took my photos.actually we wanted to buy the flowers as well but then the whole thing amounted to like.$50 so we did away with the flowers:)..
and yeh;)i pinned this corsage thingy tt my t cher had made:)it was so nice ok.with all the orchids and all....oh and the orchids were REAL.:)
then we were all so happy and my tcher even bought a videocam just to film us and esp Mervyn.whi realli is super talented ,since he was the youngest to get the LLCM......he's only 9!!
but anw later we went to this jazz appreciation night.which my tcher said only invited guests could attend...whoa i felt so honoured;).
hmmn.......and i realli feel v weird now since i dun feel a thing abt tuesday....hopefully i can do it:).......

2007-04-19T06:16:00.000-07:00

yehyehyehyeh!!!!!!!
hahaha.im so excited ,im yapping abt practically ANYTHING..i see:)
and haha to think i thought today would be a long day......wed was u noe?
but the sad thing was choir passed fast.way too fast,until i started worrying like crazy whether we would make it...but i shall leave it up to the one and only almighty God..whatever the outcome will be,willbe:)
u noe wat's cool?...it's tt no matter wat I do or wat happens,i find tt i will still be pretty ok with it..cos he will always be there for me:)
And haha yesterday i was saying-"tommorow i will be saying tommorow is THE day"...and today i am saying-"tommorow is THE day":)yehyehyehyeh:)

cant wait,CANT WAIT,CANT WAIT!!!

2007-04-18T03:22:00.000-07:00

wanxin,sis,me,sili in 3M..lurves:)

haha.yeh!!!cant wait for friday!!!
even though it is hard to even imagine if today was thursday alreadi!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!
haha,and today passed exceptionally slow,
maths and all was still quite ok ..except i was practically puling my hair out trying to solve tt question...ok not only tt question..a few other questions too.....but tt's sort of normal..
and even lit was a bit draggy....i wanted to watch a bit more of the movie!!!!!!.....
and chinese!!!!!!!i totally forgot tt there was this listening test today...and i was totally panicking the first time i heard all the passages..i was so tired i practically dozed off...then i realised the novelty of gettin such a bad grade in listening wasnt tt pleasing tt i started to pinch myself awake...phew.....i think i did alright.....not tt good but at least i dun think i will just pass...just imagine.......u FAILED ur listening,meaning wat-u got a prob in chinese AND hearing?..i mean tt's wat listening is all abt rite?
haha the ONLY thing tt made me REALLY happy was chem since it was so cool watching the colour change and all ........and i still dun noe how Yiling got tt cool stuff with tt red suspended on top of tt transparent liquid!!!!!!!!like tt lava lamp!!!!!!!!!!i tried doing it and mixing but i gues if u' ve no flaw for tt kind of stuff-u dun....and i ended up getting some disgusting mix of red........haha;)

and anw.......we took pics tt dae tt was supposed to be the make up camp fire..;)

2007-04-14T19:47:00.000-07:00

i cant believe it....
it costs $800!!!!!!!..ok i cant tell what....but it sort of sucks when u r always gonna have tt notion tt u have to work hard to make the money worth it...like money has a hold on u or smthg..
which it doesn!...but i actually dun realli mind the whole thing cept the $ part...
realise im gonna have to practise with my shoes NOW..
but anw,im still wondering when and how tt choir gown is going to get altered...hello?!?!its only ONE week left to SYF!!!!!!!..and i dun realli think i'll be able to play in tt dress...i cant breathe in it alreadi...
ok wateva...i think i sound too hysterical or smthg......
haha........let this month be over soon!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-12T02:21:00.000-07:00

icant believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok im stressed now ....seriously stressed......i cant wait for the 25 of april where everything will be OVER.
i mean everyone gets a chance at life rite and my one chance turns out to be like this.haha like a joke or smthg...and i can literally see my ateries clogging up inch by inch which i heard is what will happen whenever you are stressed...whether this is true or not-I DUN KNOW...
ok wait ,this new post wasn supposed to start like tt....it was supposed to be smthg about...
about wat?........hmph....i've forgotten what ever it was supposed to be..
oh ya.
chem tt day...which was fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
since we did neutralization which was prob the coolest and most relaxing experiment ever.:)the color change was super nice k!!
haha even though wanxin claimed it was dangerous since she coroded tt slight bit of her skin with acid/alkali....
oO........wonder wats for dinner......

2007-04-09T05:31:00.000-07:00

lessons todae were tiring but quite ok..as in it's sort of normal already... and the worse thing was there was a prob with the com and i could not get on it for 3 days!!!just imagine......sheer torture.....haha esp since it was a long weekend and i was stuck with nothing...
yeh!!love Bj!so cute la.....all the posts and everything.....thx for the taggies ok?even though i guess i will most prob play wrongly tt dae cos i'll be too nervous or smthg......but i'll do my best.cos i dun ever wanna let choir down.....since i can realli tell how everyone's realli trying to do their best and all despite all those negative feedback....at least all my good frens were so supportive:)
hahaand now my sis cant talk.....since she has a sore voice and all....yes,,voice, not throat .......her throat feels fine....and i guess it's kinda weird not having her talk at all......hope she gets well real soon...as in soon!tomorrow!!
and ya i watched all those nice shows this weekend since wedidnt go church due to us not feeling realli well and sick and all which realli is a pity since sonic edge performed on sat.....sad....
and i watched a Walk to Remember and Shane West is so cute!!!.and it was realli sad and all since the female lead died in the end and how they both were each other's angels.....and it realli was so cool since there was this song on the show which was exactly the same song my cell leader let us listen last sat as she thought the lyrics were so meaningful and all.and it is!!it's called -Dare You To Move by Switchfoot.....
haha and im so in love with the show now......
and im so excited since i saw Tank in todae's life:):)
and i did my dramatic monologue todae.....and my frens sort of thought it was lame..but it went quite well......even though i wasn too happy on picking my character...not tt she's bad or anything.....but i thought she seemed a bit bimbo.......but nvm......
haha........realli wanna thank the lord most high for everything he has brought me through:)

2007-04-03T02:28:00.000-07:00

forgot to update about a few days of realli fun events...
so anw,last wed, there was this learning journey thingy to chinatown which was realli quite fun,seeing as how we nd not follow as a whole class or go to some where and all.....and it realli was exciting in a way cos other than the excuse to get out of class,we has a choice btw going to some tea chapter class,going to a museum or having a free-and-easy activity....haha obviously my group chose the free-and-easy..then we went to the juvenile court which was near chinatown(we walked all the way there)and got this letter for the permission to attend a court trial scene and then we went to this shopping centre nearby and there was this realli nice jap food stall selling those nice mochi but it was so ex....haha:)

2007-03-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

ya......see how im trying to keep this blog alive?
haha cos my cute lil junior BJ helped me make this blog..
and anw, tt same cute junior played for speech day today!!
yey and im so proud of her since it takes a lot of courage to play to a large crowd esp when the piano is facing them.....
i performed with my back facing the audience and i still freaked out...
im still crossing my fingers for syf though.....

haha and luckily Jean and Jolene returned my Tank album in perfect condition..if not...

haha and Jolene ,me and my sis were tryin to act cute tt dae.......lame rite ,......we couldn act dao see......
NOTHING WRONG MUST HAPPEN!!!
and anw,im really supposed to be doing my hw,even though i dun feel like doing...haha bet everyone is the same.....
and its so sad ..since i wont enjoy this weekend getting up early on the morning,half awake and all......and by saying early,i mean really early as in 5-6am and allbut to make up for it.....there's no tests for the week!!
;D 'cept for chi which u cant realli study for...
and i heard Tank is coming to Spore-soon.....hmmn.alreadi got to start stratergising on how to be early for the autograph session :D...

SUCK!!

2007-03-27T02:04:00.000-07:00

yey!!back again.......i finally got some time off......maybe a few minutes to type something even though im so tired now....icant neglect my blog u noe!!so anw ,last night i slept with the air con turned on..and it realli was quite nice and all since i slept earlier than usual,although i doubt tt i will be able to do the same todae..,and it was like a small privilege and all since i dun sleep with the aircon on unless on special occasions like New Year and my b dae..ya and b cos i asked for it since i had this lit test todae which i so didnt study for...haha stupid reason rite,i noe....and anw i still woke up feeling the same-tired and sleepy ...and i went to sch with so many letters to give and all and it was like so hard to remember wat to do..and lit test came and i didnt even realise it and i regretted studying even though i knew tt i would still ans the same way even if i studied...ok wateva,i think its just this guilty consious thing...and i had no time management and all and im sure my tcher would have screamed at me if he had sit beside me during the test .......ok he was right in front of me- literally but wateva...and i so totally wasted so much time on the first question-i dun noe why,i just had this stupid notion tt i had so much time and i racked my brains just thinking of THE perfect ans...which just goes to show tt u cant always trust tt little voice at the back of ur head...so anw tt's all for now since i have to go prepare for my lesson;(

ARGH....FOR A MOMENT I FORGOT!!!

2007-03-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

u noe wat i almost forgot about this blog.....
and how could i!!!!!!
since dis is a tank blog!!!!!
and anyway i have tank's new album.....like duh rite..
and its so nice and all tt the other dae when Jean borrowed it i was like -u better dun spoil it-or else......if i find a page missing u r gonna have to get me a new one.........and she was like ok,ok-i wun spoil it....
and luckily she didnt k...and anyway there's so many things going on tt i get so confused and all..like the march hols which was so short and seemed so long ago..yey!we went titoudao and it was realli very nice and all and i was sitting in the third row so i could see the actors and actresses so clearly and getting so engrossed and all ,and they came to this sad part about how the wayang culture in Singapore was diminishing and the main character fell down as a symbolism of this then suddenly the whole sad thing was spoilt by these two kids who laughed b cos they thought tt the main character falling down and all was realli funny........which just goes to show tt-maybe some kids are realli too young to be let into shows and plays like this...i mean it's not like in a cinema or anything where pple dun realli care abt what u do.......even if u realli laugh or anything,pple will just shush u up b cos they cant hear wat the actors are talking about,but for plays like this-if u laugh, u are not only disturbing the stillness, but also the atmosphere and all.......but anw, it still was realli fun and all...since me and sili went to eat at macs b4 going to sch,and we had this shock at first cos like the whole macs was teeming with cedarians...lol..but later on i was realli v. tired and sleepy cos i had to rush from titoudao to my chinese tution and had to eat my dinner in the car-which was macs again...and throughtout the whole tution i was just nodding my head off...and barely awake......and all i can say is..im glad the teacher didnt call on me to ans for anything since the ans i'll probably give her will be in coherent and all...
And anw,im realli quite scared for the syf's and all and i cant get how pple are ever gonna be excited abt them..when i get so scared just thinking about how it will be like-on stage and all,and how un comfortable it will be in high heels...and i always have this nightmare of how i cant step the pedals with the high heels and alland how the heels are so slippery tt my foot slips and the song will sound like rubbish...but anw im praying for strength and courage to go through this whole thing and i believe he will lead me on...ya, must have faith u noe!:)
And yey yesterday i went to church and was so happy and all,even though me,my sis,Linli and Gwen had to sit at the back cos we were v . late...ok we were v.v.v. late.since we were aleadi late for dinner after cell,and of course we finished dinner late and then the four of us went to buy this blackforest b dae cake for the b dae girls............no,no,wait,its three of us told them we were going to buy smthg ,and naughty Gwen snuck away with us.lol.....and then the rest went to the church first....and by then the four of us were v. late.........and by the time the four of us bought the cake and waited so long for the lift to come,we were v.v.v. late.......and by the time we went to the toilet on the third floor after checking the pantry to put the cake, only to find it locked,we were v.v.v. late and we came into service late and all and found tt there was no space for us in the front where we normally sat........and had to go to the back to the last row....and i found tt it was so hard to concentrate on the sermon since so many pple were going in and out through the door which was literally behind us........but nvm since the cake was realli nice and all though all of us found it hard to eat the cake on cardboard w/o a fork..

haha decided to upload some pics of me and sili at titoudao....

2007-01-30T18:39:00.000-08:00

argh!!!!!!!!!
im in sch now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whoee!!!!!

i dunno wat to do

2007-01-21T21:01:00.001-08:00

i dunno wat to do........
and no tt's not an irreponsible way of not solving the problem

i really dunno wat to do.....
since i dunno how to say hi or make the first move to talk to my mortal.........

and i dun want things to get really awkard.....
did i spell tt correctly?

and i cant stand not talking to anyone whom ive written 4 letters to in a timespan of 3 days

i mean........

dun u think it's weird?

but there's also height........

which i get intimidated by.....

and clammer up........

how?!?!?!?!

i dunno wat to do

2007-01-21T21:01:00.000-08:00

i was gone but now am back!!!

2007-01-21T20:45:00.000-08:00

yeh!!!!!!!

hello!!!been gone for such a long time tt i almost forgot the existence of this nice little blog
the church camp during december rocked!!!!!!!

it felt so nice to know so many frens and all even though half of time i was so quiet tt pple constantly kept having o ask if i was ok...
i am!!!
haha sometimes i just like to space out a lot....

but usually im noisy..........though some pple will so not believe tt .

yeh!!love the new frens i made.....
but u noe sometimes i look forward to seeing them at church bt cant seem to find them...
or maybe i was busy messaging someone or smthg........
half the time i am.....

then i ask my twin and she said she claims to have seen them....

;(

think i just have to open my eyes WIDER..

or stop being plain blur.....

anw
im in sch now.....

only now it's sort of legal to go on the com since the whole class's here....
and everyone's pretty much doing their own thing.......
tried going on friendster but this com just wouldn't want to.......
today was pretty much ok........
too ok in fact everything seems to be weird......
and i keep feeling tt smthg is going to happen.......
joggong today was horrible as it always was.....
hot tiring and sweaty.....

i wouldn't mind it so much if i didnt get sweaty....
but tt kind of defets the whole point....
since it really isn't joggong if u dun sweat.....

oh and we tried tt it portal thingy in the morning.......
it went ok
except tt i took a long time to take my wallet out of my bag.......
and i saw a toad which hopped abt outside the AS 1.
disgusting.....
Lamer named it Terence the Toad.... though i dun see why Terence has anything to do with it.

oh,and i still have to collect those maths bks........
argh!!!!
so many things to do!!!!!!!!

i cant wait for sat.

i cant believe tt i cant wait for sat.

today's only mon.
tt means 5 more days away.

oh gosh.

2006-12-04T01:46:00.000-08:00

ok...........is this called writer's block.........
this symptom or smthg im currently suffering from and hating it right to the very core.........
i think of so many things to say........tt are at the very least remotely interesting.......
i mean at least those events WILL pass on a scale of 1 to 10........
and then whenever i get to this blank space .....
im at a loss for words..........
its as if looking at this blank space has totally wiped out my thoughs or wateva..........
lame i guess

2006-12-04T01:18:00.000-08:00

i keep thinking.........
abt things........
anything.................
until all the thoughts keep snowballing......
and i cant find the start.......

thoughts like......
how pple can find words like 'vertically challenged' for short
or 'horizontally challenged for fat........

weird.........

2006-11-24T02:08:00.000-08:00

just realised tt i haven been here for more than a month.........
which is a pretty long time.......
and yeh!!!!!!!!!
i survived some things i never thought i would.........
just goes to show how life can take an unexpected twist when u least expect it........
im tired now........
not physically.....not mentally either.....
just plain tired abt what some pple around me are doing....
every sunday...........
it gets to u after a while u noe?
esp so when your tolerance level isn't realli tt high...
and for wat's happened to me every sunday....
some pple might even get angry.....
not just plain angry.......p***** o**.......
as some might call it....
but u noe wat?.....
i dun care.......
cos there's only ONE more week of tolerance left and after tt....
it'll be sayonara.......
actually i feel rather sad for them
they seem to be lacking something in their lives....
what exactly?.......
hmmn.........not too sure........
moral fibre?........
sense of righteousness?.........
a pair of chromosomes tt somehow left them w/o human feelings?
i dunno..........
wait........

i do.
i've got grace.

and they haven't.

2006-11-07T02:07:00.000-08:00

Finally had the time to come here again........
even though blogging isn't exactly at the top of my list.....but still..
its nice to just type on and on abt yourself w/o sounding too egoistic....
thats the main attraction of a blog.......ithink..........

2006-10-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

life's never fair.........

tt's how the saying goes...........probably wat i sae too,to other's problems when i dunno wat to sae

but some never really experienced it............like me........

until last week.........

my life's going thru some changes.........

another passing phase?

2006-10-28T23:49:00.000-07:00

argh...........been a long time since i was here............
this 'diary' 's been colecting dust for a long time.........guess i should write smthg in it....
Have i changed?.......

i wonder.

some things i used to do........i don't anymore....u can call tt a passing phase or wateva........but,things are just not the same.......and i would like to undo most of the things tt i done.........meaning ,tt i regret them......

but nothing else can be done.........

i wouldn't think tt way last time........

so again i wonder,

have i changed?

2006-10-11T20:49:00.000-07:00

ain't goin around callin anyone miss.....
esp some one who demands me to tt ain't the way of things
and someone had better best learn tt......
can't anyone see this form of injustice.....esp from someone the same age as me....
why.......gal u not even demanding fear let alone respect........
ya noe......tt's why im toking just the way i am.....
cos gal.......u just like tt lillian jean.........needing this kind of talk to understand and be understood........

2006-10-11T20:23:00.000-07:00

haha....decided tt another post would make my blog more vibrant and not so dead...
and tt it would make up fro all the lost time too...
so anw im going out todae.........shopping.......
whoees.........yeh....finally got time to relax...
so,yesterday,i went to Tank's blog.and luckily,i only missed 2 of his posts.....
and both were so meaningful ok....
about his opinions on bible stories.....which i heard of so many times......but did not even bother to think deeply abt it........maybe only the part abt what your god given talents are.....
and what do you do with them......
but.....i expect god given talents are to help pple......and to use it to their advantage as much as yours.......:)

haha......and I still miss TNG camp...

u noe abt d things i learnt and the frens i made...

Love u all!;)

YEH!!!!!

2006-10-11T05:20:00.000-07:00

Finally im free from all the exam stress........
cos it's pretty much obvious tt exams are over.........
and so i can start blogging all i want and surfing the net and chacking out Tank's blog....
still.....i've got some other thing on tt i have to work hard for........and im not liking it verymuch......cos the time to study for it is so short and im almost regretting not putting effort in earlier...i feel like slacking everyday......
Let's hope tt my carefree-ness is not shortlived....
esp since i suspect tt the exam results are coming out next week........
and even though i don't think i did very badly...........
i don't think i did very well either...
oh..........
and there's ltc too........
erhm..........but i dun think i noe all the leaders' names yet........
so how?...........
and we haven't standardised everything yet.....
how?!?!?!?!?!?!?
maybe i should look at last year's yearbook?!?!............

Argh!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-15T03:12:00.000-07:00

so smart!so smart!so smart!so smart!so smart!so smart!so smart!
Wui Leng!!!!!!!!!
how can u be so smart?!?!?!?!
first !!!! nationals!!!!!!junior or not,it's still first in a national,recognised competition...
argh!!!!!!!!can practically qualify for sports school already la!
and i dun even think she noe abt discus in primary schl......
tt means she probably mastered the art of discus throwing or wateva in..............
2 years!!!!!!!!!!
tt's so crazy!how can someone be so talented in the sports arena?!?!?!
how?!?!?HOW?!?!?HOW?!?!?!
i spent dunno how many years learning something and im not even mastering it now or joined any competitions yet....:(
but anw........im proud of my fren lah....
work harder ok?Wui Leng?
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

2006-09-11T04:08:00.000-07:00

haha...........so nice to laugh........i just realised tt point.....
so nice to laugh.....anw,todae was so damn funny........lucky i didnt pose any pic on the internet......now i noe tt even companies tke this fact into serious consideration b4 hiring someone...
anw......i too shy to pose my pics too...since im not too photogenic either.......
but anw,....i was just really thinking..........
how a demo is done?
i mean how do u do smthg like tt with just a keyboard......
or do u have to buy the software?

2006-09-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

haha..........oh yeah,must add more posts if not my blog will become so dead.....
yeh!!!!!!!!had so much fun yesterday.......went to play amazing race at orchard road for cluster outing...
initially i was quite sad.....bcos iwanted to remain in the same gruop with all mycell grp pple.......
but could not.....cos all the cell groups had to split up and break out of their comfort zone to noe other pple better...
haha.....glad to sae tt things turned out for the better.......bcos.........now i noe more pple than i initially did....
which actually is a good thing..............cos..........dunno lah...it just is.........
and my grp was lame btw......esp the grp leader.........
funny how i always get associated with lame pple.....my sis,my best frens,cca pple,and now dis game......
whooees.....maybe im lame too......
actually..its not gd to toke bad abt pple........so i shan't do tt....but some pple in my life are really v.irritating
i mean VERY......and they really are since my tolerance level is really quite high.....so to me,irritating means tt lots of other pple can't stand those pple......like frens from my previous schools.....pple i shan't NAME...haha......

2006-08-24T02:54:00.000-07:00

hmmn...todae was a pretty good dae...whooees.....
dunnoe why.......just feel tt way ba......and yah........turns out tt my best fren is not angry alreadi....
pe sorta sucked btw.....
had to do work even when i am sick...which is stupid........and totally defeats the point of being excused for pe.....
wateva la....expected of her to give us work ba......
Exams are like so totally coming but im not scared.....atleast not yet.....until the date comes nearerand it's practically staring at me in the face then i get freaked out and realise tt i have to do smthg abt my grades.....
but for now......just sit back and enjoy first.....there's more to ;ofe than studying.......

2006-08-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

haha..better add a post if not u all get bored reading tt first post.......
which actually is nothing at all abt my life.......
anw.....todae i got so damn freaking tired lah.....
i mean u would too rite if u had to stand singing nonstop for 4 hours....and while having a cold.....
in air con room some more.......it's like torture in a freezed up hell or smthg......
boohoo............todae was a bad dae lor.....seriously.......
i got angry todae........ and scolded some ppl for eating in class....
but no choice..since im like standing there........and really supposed to do smthg.....
i really had to stern up ...since they wouldn't listen......so it's not really my fault......but i sort of scolded my best fren too....so she's angry with me now.....i guess.......
which actually puts me in a really difficult spot......since if she's my best fren ,the more i should make sure her behaviour is "appropriate"....before scolding others too.......
i think my tone was too harsh........
afterall it's only half a biscuit for goodness sake!......
so lamer,if u r reading this.......sorry k?.haha but next time u must observe school rules le.....
and to my other best fren:sorry for putting u in a spot k?..........very hard for u to play middle person....
..........happy watching ur serial drama ba!.....
more abt Tank:.........Tank's a christian ........and not afraid to admit it....tt's one trait of his tt i admire.....um actually,it's one of his many traits tt i admire;)

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-21T01:15:00.000-07:00

oh my goodness.........
dis is so damn freaking cool can!
Jean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!l luv ya loads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha........now i can go all dae to see Tank......
and tell my frens abt dis blog so tt anyone can really see tt i like Tank
Anyway...........tt interview was like so informative.............
now i noe more abt him...............:):)
dis b dae rox.............

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XU YING!!

2006-08-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XU YING!!

tis is my birthday present 4 u!! haha:)
(part 3)

take v long 2 find tis blogskin n do 4 u!!

muz appreciate it okays!!

u can delete tis post if u wan..(onli aft reading it)

but PLEASE dun abandon tis blog okay..

at least take a pict of it of my hardwork b4 abandoning it hor!!

if u wanna change anyting go 2 templates..

and lastly...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 U!!